Us vs. them: Cultural differences, biases and home

Us vs. them

Recently I was reading a blogpost by a fellow expat living in Seville in which she talked about things she had learned since moving to Spain, mostly pointing out cultural differences which struck her as odd, or annoying, or interesting, or just plain different from where she came from, in this case Britain. This is something I do often times here on my own blog since it offers a kind of catharsis while navigating life overseas.

I tended to agree with her observations about Spanish people and culture (her post was obviously written in a light tone) but as I got to the comment section of her blog I could see that quite a few people did not. They (other expats in some cases) accused her of creating a situation of us vs. them, saying she was looking for the negative in her new home. She had idealized her country of birth and thus Spain could not compare. Here is part of one comment to give you an idea to some of the reactions: Although I recognise some of your points here, I always cringe a bit at articles written about “look how different THEY are from US”. I mean, you have chosen to live in Spain and of course there will be differences. By living in another country she had given up her claim to England as her home. This particular commentor went on to say: I think people who live in a different country but still hold on to the idea that their birth country is “home” are more prey to this sort of reflection. Spain became my home as soon as I arrived here, and I never looked back.  

Where is home?

Ummmmm, even if I live in Spain for the rest of my life, the United States will always be my home. Even with all its problems and issues, there is honestly no where in the world I would rather live and raise my children. I completely understand that there is a good chance this will not happen. I get that I made a choice to move to Spain to live with my husband and I am happy with the beautiful and rich life that we are creating here. Someday I will probably see Spain as my adoptive country and culture but home? I am not sure. 

Home for me is not just the place I was born. It is my family and friends, people who are similar to me, have my values, speak my language, interact and act in predictable and dare I say "normal" ways. Home is comforting and comfortable. It is landscapes and lakes, seasons and snow. It is food, holidays, patriotism, efficiency and opportunity. Home is history and memories. It is where you come from, undeniable. Is it perfect? Definitely not. 

Cultural differences, biases and the right to point them out

I am lucky in that I work with two other American women at school and that we can commiserate on what we call, "Spanish moments." Those are the times when we are baffled by how or why something happened (admittedly often having to do with any kind of interaction with the government or bureaucracy). This blog also offers me an outlet for pointing out cultural differences both positive and negative. Writing about it helps me understand it. I think anyone living in a foreign culture has the right to do this, otherwise they might lose their minds. I have cultural biases just like everyone else and it helps to air them out. I don´t think this creates and us vs. them situation but maybe I am wrong? (It has been known to happen).

The other blogger, the Scribbler in Seville, did a good job at replying to the folks who had commented on her post and defending her position. She pointed out that as a mother she feels her heart pulled in two directions and that she wants her children to feel Spanish and British (something I completely understand). She is a blogger who regularly describes the beauty that is life in Spain and I think she has a right (obligation) to write about the negatives she sees as well. Seville is a great place to live and I think we both feel lucky to live here but it isn´t perfect. As another commentor pointed out, living abroad is not all sun, sand and sangria.